Adventures in Automotive Semantics

Robb Report UK* has named the Bentley Bentayga as its SUV of the year. This isn’t entirely surprising as (a) it is an all-new vehicle and (b) it has a starting MSRP in the $230,000 vicinity, and we are talking Robb Report here, not Penny Saver.

Bentayga - Copy

©James Lipman

According to Erin Baker, automotive editor of Robb Report UK, “The Bentayga creates a whole new segment: the ultra-luxury SUV. It far exceeds the nature of other luxury SUVs in every respect.”

Isn’t that pretty much what “ultra-luxury SUV” means, as in exceeding luxury SUVs?  And if it creates a new segment, isn’t it the only entry in that segment?  Let’s bust out the Venn diagrams.

Then there’s Kevin Rose, Bentley Member of the Board for Sales, Marketing and Aftersales: “The Bentayga is the Bentley of SUVs.”

Yes, the Bentley Bentayga is, well, a Bentley and an SUV. So of course it is a Bentley and an SUV.  What are we missing?  (Possibly a sense of humor.)

Well, the air up there where the Bentayga resides is a bit thin for us, so perhaps we just don’t get it.

Congratulations are in order for Bentley.  Hear-hear! or Pip-pip! or whatever the appropriate huzzah may be in this context.

*According to the Robb Report Mission Statement: “Widely regarded as the single most influential journal of living life to the fullest, Robb Report covers the newest in what matters most to its discerning and exceptionally affluent audience. Influencers and opinion leaders look to Robb Report to discover the world’s finest products, services, and experiences through both editorial and advertising,” which is notable inasmuch as it would be hard to imagine less-refined publications being quite so mercenary in its underlining the relevance of why the purveyors of the world’s finest whatever need to spend money with it in the form of advertising.

 

Writing BMW

While we are certainly fans of writing, nowadays most writing is done, it seems, by tapping on keys, be they physical or digital. Pulling a nib from which ink flows across the surface of a piece of paper seems almost downright cuneiform-like.

BMW is positioned itself, primarily through its innovative i-Brand, but certainly in terms of the amount of technology that it puts into its cars and crossovers, as a technological leader.

Be that as it may, BMW, in relation to the launch of a limited edition car that may have the longest name in history–The BMW Individual 7 Series THE NEXT 100 YEARS (yes, that is the name)—worked with Montblanc in the creation of hand-writing gear, including a special fountain pen based on the Meisterstuck 149, which features a skeletonized metal cap and barrel that is said to have been inspired by the Merino leather used for the TBI7STN1Y and a “7” engraved into the Au750 rhodium-plated gold nib.

Presumably “The BMW Individual 7 Series THE NEXT 100 YEARS” wouldn’t fit.

While BMW and Montblanc are both luxury brands, it does seem somewhat unusual that BMW didn’t commission something like a special-edition iPad at the very least.

MontBMW

Fun-to-Sit?

While doing laundry, I read on the back of a box of Bounce fabric softener sheets that I was “holding a little box of happy.”

I thought I was holding something that was going to stop fabric cling and make the laundry smell better.

“Happy”?

A favorite metric of auto reviewers is “fun-to-drive.” If that descriptor can be applied to a car or crossover or truck, then it is at some level of acceptable.

If not, then turn the page.

A Google search brings up 18,4-million results for the term.

Admittedly, there are times when it may be fun to drive.

Many people find it exhilarating to be slamming along in a Jeep Wrangler in Poison Spider in Moab. Or driving a Corvette through the twists and turns of Mulholland Highway.

But pretty much, driving is like the fabric softener.

According to the 2015 Urban Mobility Scorecard produced by INRIX and the Texas A&M Transportation Institute (TTI), the average commuter—and let’s be clear here, most of the time you’re driving you are doing so for a purpose that has little to do with “fun”—spends 42 hours per year sitting in rush hour traffic.

Want a reason why Silicon Valley is so keen on autonomous vehicles? How about the findings that the gridlock in San Francisco accounts for 78 hours per annum and it is 67 in San Jose.

“Fun-to-drive.”

Sure.

In the real world, it ought to be “comfortable-to-sit-in.”

Bolt(ed)

At CES this past week, GM chairman and CEO described the production model of the Chevy Bolt, the all-electric vehicle, not to be confused with the Volt, which is a sometimes electric vehicle, by saying:

“We see the Bolt EV as more than just a car. It’s an upgradeable platform for new technologies.”

That whole platform thing makes it sound, well, cooler, doesn’t it? But how many drive cars because they are platforms?

Chevrolet Unveils 2017 Bolt EV at CES

(photo by Steve Fecht for Chevrolet)

Barra went on to say, “Now for the real kicker: this isn’t some science project, or a concept that is years away. The Bolt EV will be in production this year.”

Now certainly at a price of ~$30K after tax rebates, incentives and whatnot, the Bolt is quite a deal.  With a range of some 200 miles, it is dwarfed in distance only by the Tesla Model S, which also has a price tag that isn’t tiny.  (E.g., you might be able to get a two-car garage full of Bolts for the price of one Tesla.)

But we shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that there are other cars–albeit with lesser range–available, including the BMW i3, VW eGolf, Fiat 500e, and Nissan LEAF, so it’s not like General Motors is the only alternative here.

Still, credit must be given to the company that seems to more fully understand that it needs to get faster and different in order to maintain relevance.